I realize the reason you don't love me is because I'm weak. Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. This could be an emergency and I'm not even dressed yet! Wha? Did He Do That? - The New York Times We're starved. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, when you when you Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Bite the big one? One Now, let's read it! Harriette Winslow: [Eddie got pulled over by the cops, and a ticket] What was the problem? Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. Ken: [Grabbing Steve by the collar] THAT FEEB YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT WAS ME! This isn't my grandmother. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. 6. Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Steve Urkel: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Rachel Crawford: Harriette, we've got to talk. Steve Urkel - Infogalactic: the planetary knowledge core Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now? Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Upload. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Waldo: Just the stuff Steve told me to say. He opted ofr early retirement. Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. Steve Urkel: You teach us more than just things out of a textbook. Harriette: At my table, you eat them. Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? Steve Urkel: [drinking spiked punch] What is this? She just slipped and I caught her. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. My parents play this with me all the time! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. My mom's the one who really messed up. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh gee that'd scare me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Harriette Winslow: Oh, well it's nice to meet you, Curtis. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. I was not abrasive. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Yesterday Richie and 3J were playing 'Nick and Carl'. I have feelings. The Nineties. That's Lt. Murtaugh. Steve Urkel: [runs back into the living room] Sorry Rachel! I promise, okay? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. It's late. So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. Laura: Well, he's all yours, Eddie. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. I offered you my heart and you stomped that sucker flat! Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, The real Psycho Twins would have still been in the ring wrestling, If It wasn't for Your stupid sleepy juice. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to scoop the ashes back into the urn] Lord, forgive me if I come up a foot short! Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. He woke me up too. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? This is fantastic! Okay, first question. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. Let me tell you something though Weasel. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! Please, my little Rapunzel. Refresh my memory. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. I mean the guy's a feeb. Laura Lee Winslow: No no no, a GEEK party, as in nerd, doofus. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. You're wrong, the maitre'd gave me a two for one coupon. Cool. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Oh, I see. We'll go camping together some other time. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. Harriette: Better add zucchini to that shopping list. "Tomorrow Dad!" Laura Lee Winslow: Well I guess Steve was practicing his accordion. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I got one of those once, did you know the sidewalk isn't a passing lane? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Oh they love the new me. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . The Battle of Bad Pickup Lines: Round 1 || STEVE HARVEY Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. They just love juicy gossip. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? You mother once tried bean bags. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" They help move along our sentences. Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Suppose I made it happen. It's Monday! 2023. The hot chocolate will be ready soon. [Waldo and Maxine are dancing to R&B music and professing their love for each other. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. You gotta fix that machineeeee. [the car breaks down. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? You think I'm fat. Now hit the sack. Laura Lee Winslow: Fun? [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Urkel actor Jaleel White is launching his own cannabis brand | CNN Business I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Originally slated to have been a one-time only character on the show, he soon became its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist.. Steve is the epitome of a geek/nerd, with large, thick eyeglasses, flood . Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. Harriette Winslow: Carl was nice enough to invite you into his game and you've been acting like a jackass. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny - Pinterest Carl: [in his regular voice] I have no idea. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. What do you get when you multiply a negative by a negative? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh honey, I hope they don't cheer too hard. Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Steve Urkel: So, you used me! I didn't expect you to be in there and I feel like such a worm. Pull your gun right now. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. College Problems Student Problems Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Eddie: No, Kyle's gone solo and Jerry went with him. So one day I decided to do something about it. Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? I'm finished with this witness, your honor! This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. Wha? Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. I just got a job! Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Carl Otis Winslow: I told him I was taking him over to see you. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? Welcome to Leroy's! I'm going home! I'm here. It's a "non-date". Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. Why would somebody do this to me?' Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? You know that? Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. My zipper." 5. And I'll be coming home tomorrow. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. [walks into the bathroom]. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. I don't know what to say. But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Harriette Winslow: And deliberately sat us next to a cigar smoker. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. I wanna read it to my mom. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. I will not give you a lock of my hair. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Now you sleep tighty-tighy with all your mighty-might. This is my mother. Urkelbot: [sneaks up behind the robber and surprises him] Freeze! Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. My head pops out! Harriette: What for? I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. It meant a lot to me. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. Laura Lee Winslow: [in tears] Daddy, everything's a mess! You dumped one of my relatives in a Hefty bag. Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? I'm in this class. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Judy Winslow: Who wants to read about cheese? Laura: For the last time, Steve. Blogging Everyday on Tumblr You have the right to have an attorney present. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Carl Otis Winslow: I know. 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Me and Laura went ice skating together. Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? YOU'RE WHERE? Carl: 3, 2, 1 1, 2, 3 What the heck is bothering me? The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Steve Urkel Had Some COLD lines for Laura and we all aint peep it Follow N Subscribe https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLt1bradMOW81OkAFlIZvfw/subscriberhttps. "No mo giet itsu mana! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Bazooms! Shen I suggested it, her lovely eyes were momentarily clouded with nausea.