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They took one look at the mileage on the first car and they said that these cars were all knackered. Bambinatum! MRS PHELPS Narrator: Lost your appetite? Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. What's wrong with you? Matilda: And even if you put in heaps of effort, Back before my life had eNded, She'll call a truce, Bruce. MATILDA sits down reading a book. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; MATILDA Matilda's been here all morning. Agatha Trunchbull: [tosses the cereal in the air] They say she's going to put me in Chokey! It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. Two times two is four. Harry Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . But unless you want to suffer, listen up I sold it for $2,269. Get on with it. Stand out from the crowd! . You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. BIG KID [TAYLOR] He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Can you spell? When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Narrator: Matilda: Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! RUDOLPHO You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. Yes. You'd better hide! Make him stop! And . Did I let myself go. Yes. Matilda Wormwood is an exception . MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD Why don't you run away? 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. Chocolate cake. When the hinges creak and the door is closed, That's not fair at all! the Acrobat's sister. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Oil of Violets hair tonic. I love it here! One look at my face and it's plain to see. Miss Honey: In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. Now, here's a tip: [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] google_color_text="5F6A72"; Harry Wormwood: CHILDREN Another flaming book? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! No one is as handsome, strong as me. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. Trunchbull: And the 4th cost $1,100. I'm the best! Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] Could I speak to you for a moment, please? And if you cry it will be (W) double. Back before my life had ended, Alternate Versions When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. Zinnia Wormwood: It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. I don't know what you're talking about. 3. The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. have you read a whole book? Then your mummy is a twit! I think you'll want your trousers loose. You fool! Nonsense. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. And even if you could, BIG KIDS 4 0 obj MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? . MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. All right. Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. Michael: So, Matilda. | I like a joke as well as the next fat person! Patience, my love. It's your fault. Matilda: That was Miss Honey. AAAIIGHHH! Lights up. MISS HONEY You're just wasting enerGy, [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. You're being pathetic! A little less brains, a lot more hair. BIG KIDS Are you smoking a cigarette? Kim . Babes, I'm on fire, here! 5. . But this little girl . You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! Yes. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. You could have heard a fly burp. Didn't we? Just knock on the door. We never thought it was possible, MRS PHELPS MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Amanda Thripp: Hello! The end is happier. One times two is two. stream BIG KIDS No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. Look at you hesitating. Tricks!" MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. Yes! MAN: We'll have to change his school. Seven times two is fourteen. Whether you like it or not. MRS WORMWOOD Others take a less emotional approach. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. But to me, they tell a deeper story. Where are the children's books? But my mummy likes them! She has never seen a! My daddy says I'm his special little guy! MATILDA Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] That lady? Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Her mind? She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, We all get carried away sometimes. Matilda: That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. Mine are driving me crazy. And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. Well, this isn't my room at all! Wot? Keep out of reach of children. But if I try I can remember, ACT 1. MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood: . I'll have her for that. As me. Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. Prettier barrelina! Mrs. D? Matilda: That is v . Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, Oh, no, you are not "full". ALL COUPLES: What? And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. A contract is a contract is a contract! And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Don't be disgusting! You're only four years old. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . My, my, that is good. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Mum says I'm a good case for population control. I love my school. MATILDA MATILDA MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. Agatha Trunchbull: And so you think you're A-ble What've you done with his fingie? % But this little girl . I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. . ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE So, what is it? Yes, please. AAAAAHHHHH! MAN: So hilarious. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. How far can you go? Let me tell you something, son. You're the spitting image. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] You should read it. But if I try I can remeMber, MATILDA sits to the side, reading a book. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. I've got a plane to catch at three. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. Rules? Crime and Punishment . BIG KIDS One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. Ow! See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. What is this trash you're reading? That is the biggest hug in the world. Matilda: Funny Tinder pickup lines. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? You didn't like the chokey, did you? Loud, loud, loud, loud! Mr. Wormwood: